Trying to Conceive When Everyone Else Is Getting Pregnant

Predicting Announcements

Prepare yourself before the announcement. Predict who you will hear next.

Which of your friends recently got married?
Has your sister talked about starting a new family?
Have you noticed that your former college roommate has recently given up wine and sushi?
You can prepare your response in advance so that you are not caught off guard. You can let them know what to expect when you share the news. For example, “Hey sis! I know you’re trying to get pregnant.” When I do act weird, this is why …”

Take social media breaks

Social media has become a giant scrolling news feed, a strange mix of cat videos, international stories and friends’ updates. These updates often include baby announcements.

Sign off if you’re tired of seeing an ultrasound photo every day. Take a break from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. It doesn’t need to be for a long time.

The people who are closest to you may also share these news with a telephone call.

Vent anywhere

Did you just barely make it to your cousin’s shower? You’ve heard from your neighbors that they are expecting a baby?

Online support group like Resolve can be a great place to vent your frustrations. You can still maintain your anonymity because they are online.

Tell the group how you feel right now and learn from the reactions, experiences and coping mechanisms of others. You can both educate and help one another.

Don’t be scared to join the group if some members want to meet in person. You can also confide in a friend who has struggled with infertility. She will most likely have honest and unique insight to help guide you.

Facebook offers private groups that might be a good fit for your needs. Even if your situation isn’t something you want to share, scroll through your feed to see if others are experiencing the same issues as you.

Write it down

Writing in a diary can help you process feelings without worrying about judgement from others. It’s an unidirectional conversation that can lead to self-realizations. It can also help you to release all the emotions you carry with you.

You may have tried journaling in different stages of your life with varying degrees success. This time, find a system that you like. Stick with it. Blank page or screen is the only place where you can express your true feelings without worrying about how they will be received.

You can always keep a Word or Google Drive document open on your computer so that you can easily access it when you feel the urge. You could also carry around a small notebook and jot down your thoughts whenever there is a moment of free time.

Take it to the mat

Exercise can help you release frustration and improve your health. According to the American Psychological Association, your mood should improve within five minutes after moderate exercise.

Researchers also hypothesize regular exercise can help your body adjust to stressful situations, which often include similar physiological responses such as sweating and an increased heart rate.

Next time someone tells that they are pregnant, your body might know better than to put you into fight-or flight mode. You can give the congratulations your logical brain knows you want to.

Remember that you will melt the moment you see that new baby.